Dear Successful Teacher,
A few weeks ago I was helping my seven-year-old son make his bed. As I was showing him how to smooth out the wrinkles, I told him successful people make their beds every single morning. I don’t know if this is really true, but it sounded true, which is close enough for this Momma.
The reality is he hasn’t made his bed since then, and he may not for the future, but at least, I can honor Merle Haggard by saying, “Momma tried.”
But the point of this senseless anecdote, isn’t really about the bed at all.
While I was trying to train him to adopt a tidy habit, he asked me a simple question that stumped me. "Momma, what does it mean to be successful?" On the surface, it seemed like an easy question, but as I began to formulate a response a seven year old could understand, every summation seemed hollow.
In an instant, I recognized defining this question for him could shape many of his future values. If I said a successful person is someone who makes a lot of money, that would be a lie. I know a few millionaires who are miserable souls. If I told him a successful person is a happy person, that would also be untrue. Successful people aren’t always happy. They suffer and experience heartache as much as anyone. Even if I said something simple he could understand, like a successful person is someone who wins a lot, he might be misled to believe losing makes you a loser.
In the end, I wanted to give him Emerson’s philosophical definition of success, which was on a poster in my classroom for over a decade.
"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and to endure the betrayal of false friends. To appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded." -Ralph Waldo Emerson
I love this definition of success because it reminds me of so many teachers I know. They truly spend their lives in service to making the lives around them better, and I have been the receiver of this blessing more times than I can count.
After a solid five minutes of exploring all the options, I finally blurted out the cold-hard truth.
“Well son, successful means you make your bed every single day.” He laughed. I did too.
It is true I am likely raising the most unsuccessful seven year old on the planet who just happens to have one sloppy bed, but if nothing else, I hope when he puts his head on his sloppy pillow at night, he learns to dream up his own definition of success apart from Momma’s.
What if this is the real indicator of success, and I didn’t even know it?
-CDB
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