Dear Running Late Teacher,
For the most part, being a teacher is one gigantic game of learning to get along well with others. If you are not skilled at this game, your education career will be short-lived or very, very lonely. In my observation, I've also learned that while there are myriad of personalities, they all fall into two distinct categories: punctual or tardy.
Punctual people will tell you being on time is critical to success. These people are correct. My mother-in-law likes to say she would rather be an hour early than 10 minutes late. This is a great philosophy, although I am more from the camp of preferring to be an hour late than ten minutes early. I was early to an event once. I didn't like it. I sat around like an awkward teen without a dance partner. I didn’t know what to do with my hands or who to talk to when I arrived. I probably need to give it another try because I know punctuality is a very grown-up quality. I do want to be on time. However, I frequently fail.Â
If you fail too, I want you to know you’re not alone. Maybe we’ve even passed each other in the parking lot peeling in like we’re competing for the last lap at the Indy 500. The bad part about being late is that you inevitably end up being even later. You'll catch every light red and every parking spot in the whole state of Florida will be full. Then you'll try to overcompensate by rushing, which makes you drop your smoothie. When you bend down to pick it up, your purse falls off your shoulder and wraps around your shoe. From the window, all the punctual people watch you scramble and laugh a condescending laugh from their pious towers of punctuality.
Listen up, on-time people, we know you have an 830 credit score, freshly manicured lawns, and Pintrest- themed Thanksgiving snacks in the backseat of your mother of pearl, Land Rover.
We're not judging you. Heck, we want to be you, but we can't because we are in crisis mode daily. So, please don't judge us either for not signing the folder and feeding our kids lukewarm Spaghettio's for dinner. Life as a habitual procrastinator is a painful burden, so we have a small request. Would it be too much to ask you to park in the farthest spots away from the building? We know you have plenty of time to make it in the building. We do not, so please save some spots for us in the front of the building.
We know we're screw ups, and no, it's not your fault. However, it's Thanksgiving and an act of kindness goes a long way. So, what do you say? May we have the spot?
-CDB